Sea Legs

ICE had delivered a high value captive to the Temple of Turas in Allegany and spent the rest of our downtime since the last session copying spells, brewing potions, and the like. We had a few treasure maps and the quest for the holy hand grenade of evil destruction, but we decided to solve a problem for Slaid's downtime fishing crew instead.

The operation to harvest rockfish for poison and magic item components hit a snag when the rockfish hole the fishing vessel frequented came up empty, all the rockfish being eaten by something. Rotten pieces of fish floated around and the fishing captain was too scared to frequent the waters alone.

Slaid headed up the expedition to discover just what the problem was and bonk it on the noggin so he could get back to getting free gold. We chummed the water and trolled about looking for some evidence of what was causing so much trouble. Eventually we found it, a giant sea serpent rollin' out of the deep like Nessie.

I'm not really sure what we expected. Slaid kept trying to get us to jump in the water and fight like Aquaman or something but that's a solid nope from the elf in plate mail. Instead we gunned it down with harpoons and crossbow fire and kilt it until dead.

The vessel designed specifically for just such a task, we harvested everything we could from the dead serpent, including the belly full of treasure, and off we went with mission accomplished. There was a small rocky island that held a ton of bird-monstrosity things, stymphs, we passed on the way back. We lured them out with a succulent serpent meal, slumbered them with magic, and scooped up whatever shiny things they had in their nests.

Surprisingly, we had the most trouble out of a few sharks that naturally followed us due to the towed serpent corpse we were dragging to attract trouble. Go figure. They did a little damage to the fishing ship but otherwise were defeated and added to our weird haul. If only every chartered fishing trip was so successful...

We returned to Allegany with a healthy amount of treasure, much harvested meat and components, and a happy bard. I'd say next up Sextant quest for the weapon of evil killing but man, we never know what we're gonna do.

Redemption or Death (AFN 3)

The gods are fickle. And demanding. Maybe cruel? I'm not sure because I'd never get on their bad side, but boy do they not like Julius.

Our Quested warrior griped his way through a bit of downtime but it was clear that the magic would not let him properly prepare for his journey. After only a little time in town Julius was already growing fatigued and antsy to get moving.

Nicanor tagged in a contemporary of his Zoticus (PC swap due to maiming). They worked to move some of the goods we had recovered prior but it looked to be more of an ordeal than we expected.

A pickpocket tried her hand at Etienne's purse, and then mine, but I caught her and turned her over to the guards. The new mage Zoticus, another in a long line of heathen sorcerers, assumed that my pragmatism would outweigh my honor and negotiated for her release. He was dismayed at my refusal to pull any strings for the thief and she was sentenced to pay an unpayable fine.

When Julius let out for the wilderness to stop the magical punishment he was enduring, we were at a bit of a fork in the road. Zoticus stayed in town to sell off goods and to free the thief from her destiny in the slave mines while the rest of us joined with Julius to escort him on his quest.

We bumbled about in the woods for a while before we found a spire overlooking the terrain. From on high we could see the compound that we suspected was our target. Overcoming disease and magical punishment, we carried on towards the goal.

Meanwhile, Zoticus successfully paid for the release of the thief Eleanor and hired her as a hench. He picked up some other weirdos (PC rerolls and another hench) and hit the road. Their group caught up with ours just outside of the Ruined Monastery.

Flavius discovered some children going down to the nearby river for water and, after watching them a bit and sharing much speculation over how horribly evil and fae they had to be, we approached them. They were just kids. Weird, traumatized kids likely, but they didn't grow fangs or ensorcell us or anything.

It took a little convincing but they agreed to lead us to "The Man Upstairs" about whom we speculated all manner of evil. He lived in a tower on the compound that was separate from the main building, in the belfry. We ascended past some admittedly creepy things like stuffed animals with sewn-in human teeth to meet with him near the large bell. He was cowled and shadowed and stayed that way during the conversation, encouraging us to leave him alone or else. No ally to be found there, but at least no enemy either, so we left.

The main building in the compound had a huge room, likely the original sanctuary, overgrown in strange vines and fungus that we were very careful to avoid. Close inspection revealed a secret compartment on the faded and lost altar to Elion that held actual, real, tangible treasure. We rejoiced and liberated the items to be returned to civilization.

That's when the spectral guardian took umbrage and attacked. Of course none of us really had any silver or magic weaponry, but we did have an oil of sharpness. After a brutal scrap involving military oil, hot potato with the magicked sword, and my getting knocked on my ass, we overcame the spirit and sent him to his rest.

Returning to camp was easy, it wasn't far outside the compound, and we rested up. A scouting party went ahead to investigate the warded stairway and well that we had found. They succumbed to some wicked fumes and were afflicted with visions but we couldn't really do more than guess at what they meant, if anything. They escaped with their lives.

Zoticus blasted away the wards on the stairs with his sorcery and we descended. It didn't take long to meet more guardians of this place, undead creatures of heinous strength and again displaying immunity to our weaponry. Already engaged and not likely to be able to outrun them in a retreat, we desperately threw oil and grappled, trying anything for an upper hand.

Zoticus came through again by wrapping up one of them in a choke hold. We dogpiled it and hogtied it and then repeated the effort with the remaining one. Victory was ours, but we lost our thief Chassick to the monsters. We prepared his body for retrieval on our way out and left the hogtied undead there without much in the way of options for disposal.

We discovered a fountain with little stone imps frolicking, tearing apart a giant frog that we thought we'd heard on entry. Lacking confidence in our mundane weaponry, we avoided them and retraced our steps to find the bound undead and Chassick's body missing.

A crossroads of canals led us to doors painted in silvery riddles. We left that for later and kept looking down unobstructed paths, finding the water wheel mentioned by the Sisters as a landmark in our search. Our rejoicing was cut short as a hydra emerged from the water by the wheel, one by two by three by idk I lost count of how many heads. It gobbled up Julius before we had a chance to do much of anything.

Tharn our explorer covered our retreat with his bow as it didn't seem likely we'd be able to wrestle this beast like we had the prior ones. Etienne and I held the line to give everyone a chance to retreat, but Et got snatched and eaten as well. His heroism will never be forgotten as his sacrifice bought us time to escape.

A clearly laid trap complete with adventurer bait awaited us just outside of our light and just as we were clear of the hydra. A bejeweled scepter matching the description of what we came to seek rested on a pedestal conveniently far enough away to risk being eaten to retrieve.

Tharn knocked it loose with an arrow and Flavius sent one of his dogs to fetch it. We fled before we were killed and thought maybe, just maybe, we'd be able to celebrate something about this place. Nope. The scepter faded into so much dust and we kicked rocks back to camp.

Julius, Chassick, and Et were dead. The holy quest given by the merciful Abbess was over and we dragged the stench of failure with us back towards town. An elf watched us cross the river but caused no trouble, speaking in his weird way and declining to join us.

Flavius and the pups discovered a bit of a crevice leading to a set of doors under the ruined bridge near where we crossed the river. Our retreat to civilization was delayed by the prospect of treasure. We ignored some centipedes in order to make entry, breaking down doors and revealing a bit of a guardhouse or barracks or garrison complete with a kitchen and office. A secret compartment revealed some treasure and a short fight with skeletons ended with a wounded dog and some very fine masterwork swords.

If we were to return to the monastery, then it looked like we at least had a staging ground to launch from. We departed, most of our party suffering from mummy rot due to grappling with undead, and hoped we'd make it to town before everyone but Mikel and Maria lost their skin in sloppy sticky sheets.

After a few close calls with wilderness beasties, we limped into Belvorn. Maria and I were unaffected by the malaise that was killing the rest of the party. I offered to ride to Trenova ahead of the party and hopefully secure some concession against the expected taxes and tariffs and other inconveniences of adventuring. Maria joined me with the group under the care of a hired chirugeon.

The road to Trenova was uneventful and we passed through the gates after the typical security precautions from the guards. I led the young priestess to the Order's chapterhouse to make this report.

Sir Mikel, Knight-Initiate of the First Seal
28th of Rods, 28th Year of King Decius' Reign - Town of Trenova
 

On Thieves

The fiction that influences games like AD&D is rife with examples of the daring warrior rescuing the damsel, moral men confronted with difficult choices, and fighting men claiming power by righteous action over malicious rulers. It also showcases unscrupulous rogues and thieves, con artists and criminals, out for nothing but their own gain no matter the cost.

The default assumption by Gary Gygax in AD&D is that some level of heroism will exist among a party of adventurers, but it is not uncommon to have a "bad apple" in the mix, even if the entire party isn't comprised of murder hobos lacking any moral compass at all. If you consider your favorite stories, particularly ones with larger casts of characters, you'll find that they're often written the same way; a heroic group with a scrappy or roguish member or two.

Readers who know me know that I prefer heroism in my gaming. Ironically, some of the most success that I've had in recent gaming has been as scoundrels and petty thieves. It's because playing a selfish character is easy. As it turns out, doing whatever you want without any regard for the consequences is what shitty people do in real life. Because it's easy. Having the discipline to answer to a higher authority is what separates you from the lowest of the low.

AD&D has a grading system that incentivizes one to play to the assumed role of their character as imagined by early 70's fantasy fiction. Playing your fighter like Conan or thief like Cugel are can't-miss propositions and will earn you the ability to train quickly and relatively inexpensively. Failure to play to the understood role of your class will compromise your ability to train and cost much more. The warrior leads from the front. The mage investigates the arcane and offers useful, obscure knowledge. The cleric must turn undead and speak to matters of morals or faith. The clever thief plans heists, takes risks, and convinces the party that he's valuable. These are the roles in roleplaying that matter more than your bad British accent.

This system trains players to represent their characters' roles within the game's milieu and within the party itself. It is invaluable and more RPGs should include something like it, but I digress. I mention class grading to shine a light on how I, the heroic fighting man of fantasy worlds, would end up lying, cheating, and stealing, for mechanical victory. 

Generating PCs randomly causes a player to branch out from their "comfort picks", allowing the dice to determine their attributes, race, class, alignment, etc. I've ended up with several thieves this way. While I prefer to play warrior types, I will never take a bad grade during play (if I can help it, it's not my fault the mage's neck was too thin to endure my shaking). The thieves that I've ended up playing have gone on to (mostly) prowl, stalk, and terrorize the games that they've been a part of through a series of petty thefts, heists, and cons. 

Unfortunately, the thief role is potentially damaging to the team cohesion that I prefer during sessions. Your average thief player only risks checking for traps when pressed and scouts when there might be a treasure hoard to cherry pick. He's all but useless in combat, using the distraction as an angle to, you guessed it, sneak by and cherry pick treasure. He risks nothing for a more than equal share of treasure and experience and adds nothing that can't be achieved in most cases by the clever use of the equipment list. It's perfectly justifiable to play a scumbag of this caliber. It's also lazy, easy, and a drag on unit effectiveness.

Much of the strength of the thief class comes from the mini-game of social engineering between players, not characters, that allows him to keep getting away with it. The clever thief player plays it straight until it matters for something truly interesting, not har har I stole a gem. He volunteers for the dangerous task and, by taking that risk, he earns the trust of the players. If he betrays that trust later, well, frog, you rode the scorpion across the river. You'll also note that thieves have the most forgiving level advancement chart. It's almost like they're expected to die taking big risks. 

There's been a lot of argument about whether the thief class should even exist but that's not up for debate because it's stupid. Thieves are an indelible part of the adventure fiction that influences D&D and thus every other RPG, so stop it. If your play is flattened by thief skills, get better at the game. If you play thieves and suck during combat, get better at the game. If your best play is skimming from the hoard, get better at the game. 

"Old Man" My Ass

Our dominant victory last session led us into another ambush scenario for this session, where we knew the Regional Manager or whatever was going to be arriving to reset their regular delivery teleportation circle system. It was all a little above our heads, but we knew the basics like who, when, and where.

Antonio the captive warrior flipped on his bosses after we learned he was pressed into service by torture. Man this Assemblage organization sure was nasty business. Good thing ICE is on the case. We set him up to run business as usual when the "old man" arrived with a bodyguard and cadre of little dork mages. The main guy had white hair and beard so the nickname was apt.

Antonio lured them in without a problem and Guygiss sprung the trap, stabbing the white haired douche for a bajillion damage plus poison. Before the rest of us could act, the "old man" hauled ass flat out of there towards the dock. Turns out he weren't all that old and also wasn't dead from a shot that would have killed any one of us.

We swarmed from our various positions to quickly eliminate his entourage. The Bladedancer twins inexplicably in Slaid's employ hawked the mage down along with Guygiss' new wolves and swamp hag girlfriend he showed up with in downtime.

For the enemy's part, their ship fought back, firing volleys from the marines on board and even launching from their mounted trebuchets trying to cover the mage's escape, but he got mauled like one of those meme K9 unit videos.

Just when we thought we had everything under control, the trebuchet fire landed. It didn't make direct contact with anyone so whatever, but then DM went into describing the literal barrels of monkeys used as ammunition, spectral rock baboons exploding to wreak havoc on their surroundings. Ok now that could be a problem.

Fortunately we pinned them down pretty quick and Slaid's Crusader hench Cranston Dispelled them before they got too out of hand. We killed the stragglers and with the help of covering fire from Slaid and Guygiss and Elmo the Water Elemental, the Bladedancers cleared the deck of the enemy ship.

We seized all the assets and even prevented the mage from dying, giving us another high value captive to interrogate. We're on our way back to Allegany for justice and maybe a reward question mark??? From there we're on to Sextant hunting probably while the inquisition gets busy on the "old man" for more actionable intel to use against the Assemblage.